Thoughts and Feelings
by Purpledaisygirl
Summary: Donnie and April are getting married. Donnie contemplates some things before and during the wedding. One-Shot. Taken place years later.


**Thoughts and Feelings**

I'm repeating the verses I wrote down on the index card in my hand and I've been staring in the mirror for a long time. Not in vane or pride, but because I wonder how a gorgeous ray of light named April could want to forever be with a dorky turtle in a tuxedo and a bow tie. It almost appears as if I'm a hunchback with my shell edging out of the dark tuxedo jacket, but she said it looked fine.

_"Is it true? Did she really like it?"_ These unanswered questions fill my mind._ "Is this really what she wants?" _Still, this last inquiry is the one that keeps me hesitant of going through with 'us'.

Many times I wondered if this was right. All I want to give her is everything. There's no limit to the happiness I wish I could give her. I tried to direct her focus, to make her see what sacrifices she'd have to make before we got to this point. No matter what I said, she only smiled and assured my doubts that she loved me. "I" was the one she chose to be with. Seven billion people in the world and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I don't want her to be content, I want her happiness to be abundant and overflowing.

She can only begin to imagine how much I love her. I praise the ground she steps on, as she sways across the floor. I'd kiss every spec of her body, starting with her luscious lips. I'd hurt myself to take away any ounce of pain she had. Every tear I'd keep in a bottle, to remember all those times of joy and sadness, to laugh at each droplet as our relationship grew with age and loyalty. She'll never fully comprehend how many amazing thoughts I have locked away of her.

I continue to be lost in my own reflection until the creak of my door awakened me from my trance. The card's words I'd been reciting over and over making sure it was permanent in my mind.

"Hey D, it's time you get out there before April does... Well, that's unless you want to have Splinter walking down the aisle with you as April waits at the altar instead. Your choice." Mikey joked.

I folded the 3 by 5 index card and shoved it in my pocket, then shook my head and walked out of my room. The reception was being held in the lair. The pit of our living room was made into a flowery decorated area where I'd marry the person I loved the most in this world. So many times I imagined this, but since I never thought it would happen, it always took place in destinations like the beach, the planetarium, or even a quaint chapel.

I walked down the carpet set to make an aisle, hastily seeing the few faces that were attending our small wedding. My brothers and Casey were the crowd attending this secretive event sitting on the ledge in the pit. I stopped walking when I ended up in front of my father who would be the one who married us. The decor and traditions were a mix of Japanese and American culture.

A sweet aroma of sakura petals scattered across the floor filled my nostrils. Japanese lanterns painted with gorgeous landscapes and flowers were chosen to be the accents. My brother's were supportive with our engagement, but had the same concerns I did about April. I wish I could say I didn't regret even the slightest for asking April to marry me. I remember bowing down on one knee on top of a building with the moon hinting the plead in my eyes. I'd just created a machine to make the surrounding look like a a garden, while everyone else down below saw the ordinary rooftop. She loves flowers and foliage, her favorites are lavenders and yellow carnations. If I must say so myself, I was pretty proud of the accomplishment. What brought me the most felicity, was the smile it brought on my angel's face. She said yes almost instantly, and that's why I'm here. To get married.

Suddenly, music starts playing and the only thing I see is her. My April. The girl I'll hold in my arms for the rest of my life. The one I'll shower with love and loyalty. No one will hurt her while I'm here with her. Even when I'm gone one day, I'll be her guardian from above. If anyone thinks they love her more than I do, they're wrong. There is no man who would take the fall for April with a smile on his face, and no regret in his heart. Selflessness pierces my heart when I can do something for her, to fill her eyes with pure joy. I'd ask if this was a dream right now, instead I know it's a dream come true, not the surreal illusion I wanted to become a reality so desperately as a teenager.

A sleek strapless dress covers her skin. She wanted an American style dress, but either way she would've looked as flawless as I see her now, holding delicate yellow roses in her hand. The dress was slim with a few decorations such as silver stitched roses and other designs. Everything about her dress complimented her simple features. Her hair was in a bun with loose strands hanging from both sides of her face. Her veil was lined with white flowers across the top of her head, and light weighted netting cascaded down her back. Linked in her arm was her father who held a picture of April's mother in the other.

Mr. O'Neil slowly released his daughter and said,"She would've loved to be here April. I know she'd tell you that she truly believed he was the one for you."He said with a choked sob.

I watched as April's eyes became glazed with tears, but still refusing to let any fall. Her father kissed her on the cheek and sat down next to Casey. This was it. I'd be tied to one woman for the rest of my life, yet I have no problem with that. She gave her

flowers to Mikey and walked up to the altar. I took hold of her small hands in my larger ones, while rubbing my thumbs in small circles on her skin. She appeared to me a doll with such perfect features, in ways she'd never see about herself, even her flaws were perfection. As I stared in to her cat-like eyes, I knew I was falling. Perhaps I'd already fallen and it just felt like it all over again.

I may have already caught her physically, but she has always caught me in other ways. She captured my heart my heart with her soul and took hold of my thoughts. Maybe, I'm not supposed to have such a rarity, but she seems to want this. This mediocre life with a mediocre appearing husband. I don't know whether to blame myself for being in love with her, or April's choice in men... Or turtles for that matter.

"Dearly beloved, we are here today in honor of Hamato Donatello and April O'Neil to witness their vow to live in holy matrimony..."

Master Splinter was our priest. Rand we couldn't have been more pleased with the choice. My brothers were my best men, but Mikey also served as April's bridesmaid just so she could have someone to take care of her feminine wedding preparations. Finally it was the time I'd prepared for... The vows.

April is first to start the vows and I don't know what to say except that her voice is like beautiful poetry.

"Donnie... You are the love of my life. I don't know how I was living my life before you and your family's acceptance when I walked in. Well... more like "fell" in. So many times I thought I was on my own, when really you were always right there without me knowing. You never gave up on me and I'm so grateful for your persistent kindness and compassion. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found someone who made me feel so in love. I have enjoyed my time with you and hope to have every moment spent with you right beside me. I've cherished each memory and hope they last a lifetime with all the new ones we'll make together. You're compassion changed me for the better. I'll never forget how lucky I am to have someone like you who considers my feelings, showers me with love, and makes me feel safe. Your arms are walls that surround me and build walls no other man can surpass except are the one that guides me, my shield from the horrors of the world, and you are my cover in the rain. I love you Donnie. More than you know.

When she finished, I was surprised. I never knew how strongly she felt until today. April had never been one to spill her feelings out on the table willingly. I pulled the small rectangular card out of my pocket and cleared my throat. Here goes nothing... No... Here goes everything. It's all on the line here and she HAS to be expecting something a wonderful as hers.

My hand grasps the card tighter when I see the way she's looking at me. Her patient, loving eyes stare into my soul. My confidence grows strong as I crumple the paper and throw it to the ground with the flick of my wrist. The words came to me. I didn't need a script or a procedure to tell the woman I love how intensely I care for her.

"April O'Neil, you are perfect to me. Not only that, you are the perfect person for me. No matter how hard I tried, there was no way to get you out of my head. I have no desire to spend my days without you. You saved me from the darkness. The sewers and the night's pitch black sky kept me hidden, but the moment I saw you... Your light casted over me like a spell and I've loved you ever since. Some may call it a coincidence, but I'm sure this was the path meant for me. I could've chosen to walk away, but I am drawn toward you April. You're light changed me for the better and called me out to see the world. You are the light that guides me, my shield from the horrors of the world, and are my cover in the rain. I love you April. I promise to be your protector if you'll be my sun. I'll love you forever April, as long as I'm living, even as I pass on. You'll ALWAYS be in my heart."

Tears streamed down her face and she mouths the words, "I love you too". I gaze deep into her eyes and mouth back,"Forever and ever". Master Splinter has a slight grin, but continued the ceremony.

"Do you Hamato Donatello take April Charlotte O'Neil as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Do you April Charlotte O'Neil take Hamato Donatello to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

I can see tears stream down Master Splinter's fur covered face as he says, "Donatello, you may kiss the bride."

Slowly, I inch forward. Both of our eyes ares shut, both hearts are racing with excitement, but only one mind has the pondering thought of marriage. Centimeters away before were married.

_"This is your last chance to make up your mind. These are the last few seconds you won't be committed to someone for the rest of your life. Are you ready for this?_

I break away from my train of thoughts for just a moment to still see myself so close to a loving bondage that would last forever. Seeing my April all dressed up and waiting for this one moment reassured me instantly.

_"I want this. She wants this. If she didn't, she would have said no, or pulled away. She loves me the same way I love her. Endlessly."_

One last time to ponder instead of committing toward an action was all it took for me to see how wonderful this was going to be, how exciting our love would make life, how old we grow together and still be madly in love.

Our lips came crashing together in pure ecstasy. There was no one here to ruin it. Our kiss continued on for what seemed like hours. Her lips were luscious and full of bursting passion... Like her.

_"I regret nothing. All those years of admiring her from a distance. Every time she'd walk in unexpectedly and I'd stop what I was doing just to talk to her. It was worth it."_

My final thought was subtle, quick, hasty, and clićhe...

_"It's a wonderful life I have... Not everyone finds someone they'll love forever..."_

-When getting married, remember to choose the person you can't live without, not a person you can just live with.

-Never believe love is overrated, it can be a beautiful thing in the ugliest of places.

-It's better to spend your life alone then with someone you dislike for the rest of your life.

-Even if love seems impossible, it's not. There's someone out there for everyone.

-Always keep your heart open, because love is always kind, patient, and a blessing to those who are in need of affection.

A/N: Hey people! Seriously, always remember to keep love in your heart. My parents deal withy their own and others emotional problems and love issues a lot. I've seen the worst and I've seen the best. All I can say is that it's worth it. All the quotes above are things I came up with to be little reminders about love. When you show compassion others are likely to return it to you. Try giving someone a hug even! It shows that they are loved and at least someone cares for them. On another note, sorry I've been off the grid. School has been a load of projects and etc, life's been busy, and I'm trying to rethink the last few chapters from my longest story at the moment New Abilities since I feel that it would end too much like a different movie (I didn't do it purposely though!). :)

-Pdg


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